Archive for May, 2011

Against the Tide

So, I worked out with Josh this morning, bright and early!  The change in my schedule has made it so that Phil and I can rarely work out at the same time.  Moreover, it has made it so I’m sometimes at the gym at 8 IN THE MORNING. That’s like school.

Anyway, so Josh had me start out with some TRX-band stretching.  Basically, holding on to these two bands and doing lunges or these weird arm-clock-rotations. It’s hard to explain. Point is, they weren’t super hard to do. But then we moved upstairs.

Josh picked up pairs of 15 and 20 pound dumbbells, and right then I thought–“Oh hell no. I never use weights that heavy! Phil usually uses 15 pounds.” So Josh said I was going to do “complexes.” More like I was going to “develop a complex” after doing this. He laid out six exercises for me, and told me I’d do ten (or twenty) reps of each, and we’d just cycle through them.  Okay. So the first exercise was a plank-row, meaning I’d get into the plank position, which one hand on the ground and one hand holding a dumbbell, and then pull the dumbbell up in a row-motion, ten times.  Then ten more with the other arm. Using a 15 pound weight.

After that, I’d do ten squats-to-presses. With 15 pound weights.  At this point, it became clear that this was too much weight. But being that… I don’t know, I am who I am, I guess? I couldn’t articulate that to Josh in any way other than dropping the weights on the ground and snapping, “These are too heavy!” So Josh got me some 8 or 10 pound weights.  But the rest of the workout was still super hard.

After the squat-to-presses, I’d lay with my shoulders on a yoga ball and feet on the ground, hips raised, and do ten chest presses. Still with the 15 pound weights. Then I did twenty reverse lunges with bicep curls (8-10 pound weights), ten single-leg rows while bent forward at the waist (8-10 pound weights), and then twenty Romanian deadlifts (also 8-10 pound weights).  Those are where you stand on one foot and slowly bend towards your toes, keeping your back straight.

And I went through the circuit four times.  I think Josh might have intended that I do five circuits, but maybe he could see that I was consistently on the verge of tears and that my legs were wobbling when I was done with the reverse lunges.

A note about the crying.  I knew I was getting emotional and getting outside of myself.  I kept telling myself, “This is not an emotional experience.  The question here is not why Josh is making you work out with weights that are too heavy; why he is ‘doing this’ to you.  The question is ‘Can I physically do this, or do I need a lower weight?’ And if you can’t, just tell Josh that.” I would get this ridiculous, huge, desperate, existential anguish like, “This is SO HARD! Why, God? WHY?!” while I was whimpering through the exercises. So, evidently I still have some work to do there…

After the “complexes,” Josh had me do a ten-minute interval run on the treadmill: one minute at a brisk walk, thirty seconds at a fast run, repeated. I honestly don’t know that I have ever sweat that much or been that red in the face at the end of a workout.

The showers in the ladies’ locker room at our gym have stalls (otherwise I wouldn’t shower there, being that I am essentially a never-nude) and as I was looking for one to use, I accidentally caught a glimpse of this lady, SITTING on the shower floor, NAKED. Really?! That is so gross! I cringe every time I walk in there without flip flops (which is every time). And you’re just going to hunker down with all your business right on the floor? Yuuuuuuck.

Try to keep your back straight!


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